The one thing that freaks me out is if someone says: “Just be yourself.” It is quite common practice to encourage the candidates with the words during beauty pageants, competitions, job interviews and other stressful situations.
Ever tried to figure out whom else can the candidate be, but him/herself? Sure one can be stressed-out, nervous, angry, forgetful, but the name tag doesn’t change.
During a training session for counselors, a delegate mentioned there are two kinds of patients: “Those who want to be helped, and the other not so much.” He doesn't get the facilitator idea, but he'll hopefully get there.
The next fellow totally agrees, mentioning a patient being with the 13the counselor and describing the tactics and different schools in detail. Who says practice doesn’t make perfect?
This phenomenon can be described as integrating loss or pain as an identity. The patient can gain confidence by reminding him/herself of intense situations, subconsciously believing that in the case of another occurrence, the patient will be prepared. Say Mary can’t have children and keeps telling her story to everyone numerous times. She becomes Mary Childless were Sophie in a similar situation moves on and is Sophie without children. This principle can be applied to many life-altering situations.
Mary is a perfect example of being "pro-active" by answering questions in advance. Sophie on the other hand deals with it only when she needs to.
The question isn’t who upholds the truth and who not, both Mary and Sophie own their status.
(Even diagnosed with a multi-personality disorder and hospitalized, the patient has only one body, one soul with different names).
The good news is: You are yourself, no need to try and be it. So next time you’re stressed-out, angry, worried, snappy or whatever, embrace the emotion and work through it. Decide whether you want to be Tommy-X or Tommy who has X.
Please don’t try to be anyone else, because the good news is you simply can’t.
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