The past century hosted WW1, the
Great Depression and WW2. European arrivals, economic, religious and political
changes influenced the nature of the Aboriginal groups that inhabited Canada
for the millennium. Many
Aboriginal people acknowledge gains where the children back then received
schooling and education needed in a competitive and changing world.
Churches committed moral and
ethical wrongdoing by removing and abusing Aboriginal children against the villages' wishes.
We cannot undo the past. Losses are known to incite the
grieving process, whether the process is incited by personal, interpersonal, intra-personal
or cultural lapses and omissions.
The initial phase of grieving is
often marked by disbelieve, anger, disgust and agitation. Externalizing traumatic
events by blaming the instigator(s) and focusing on the cause of suffering are
less threatening and provides the organism time to work on strategies of
re-integrating. “We shall prepare the coffee of reconciliation through the
filter of justice. Through reconciliation, streams of tears will come to our
eyes.” Jean-Bertrand Aristide.
During this phase confusing,
conflicting and uncomfortable feelings and thoughts may come to surface. Fragmenting a troublesome environment
into smaller workable pieces reduces the feeling of being overpowered.
Extended situations that are
clearly damaging and draining can prolong the first phases of the mourning as
well as the perplexity of the affair. When losses are inflicted on a community or culture in the
whole, conflict arises where smaller groups or individual strategies might
chose alternative ways to recover. After an earthquake some might feel the need
to excavate, while reigning forces might decide on rebuilding the city on top
of the buried.
Despite of the knowledge that one
can loose everything due to forces of nature, economic meltdowns or warfare,
most descendants will mourn their losses. This is a worldwide phenomenon where
histories of explorers, kingdoms claiming land, warfare and prosecution of
certain groups still happen in this century.
However, one of the most damaging
attitudes in the quest for healing is to hold onto the status of a victim, rightfully
earned and sustained by the past. Staying a victim implies helplessness,
feeling subdued and heavily relying on external resources to come to the rescue.
During the process of mourning
the healthy turning point happens when the organism(s) letting go of all that
is not conductive and taking full responsibility for the self. If
misinterpreted, taking responsibility for the self can cause extreme guilt,
self-blame or acts of self-destruction.
That goes for the church as well as Aboriginal people. Power means the organism’s
ability to recognize own strengths and enhancing the capacity thereof. Healing
includes expansion of consciousness and detachment from the situational and
emotional roller coaster. “We are in the world, but not of the world.”
Whether this is applicable to a
culture, nation, and group or individual, the purpose of the mourning process
is amongst others to establish a new identity.
Participants of the
reconciliation process can uphold each other without imposing their beliefs on
the minority. Empathy is to recognize and validate hurt, thus walking
alongside, without nurturing the victim.
“Amnesty is as good for those who
give it as for those who receive it. It has the admirable quality of bestowing
mercy on both sides.” Victor Hugo.
Pathological grievers get stuck
in the unfortunate circumstances that initially triggered the mourning process.
These organisms build their new identity around the loss and attempt to keep
others hostage by their dwellings. Although they present them of being in need
to be rescued, they dodge transfiguration.
When surroundings inflict
constant somberness and heaviness, the process of healing is violated by
oppression. The path of healing is
painful, but can be embraced. Healing
involves expanded awareness and understanding of unrealistic fears and feelings
of despair.
Organisms can create healthy
I-boundaries by accepting the past and showing willingness to venture fresh
takes in the present. Finding the balance is key to continue the process of reconstruction.
This process reflects the unlimited possibilities to enhance the self in the
remarkable universe in which the organisms find themselves. To be equal in our
acceptance of our conciliatory mission is to know all is from God.
For most grievers the turning
point includes a memory of the traumatic event, dismantled from believes that
keep the past hurts alive.
The acceptance of loss is a part
of life. When groups, couples or individuals consolidate they bring a
different set of values, expectations or agreement to the table. The past
misconceptions, carelessness and/or defective judgments are not the spokesperson
any longer.
Working with the present can also
be a painful event, where symptomatic relieve during loss can include criminal,
violent and destructive behavior, substance abuse, broken relationships,
indebtedness, neurotic patterns that are destructive on all levels of the
organism’s mandatory.
After reconciliation
reconstruction must follow. When the new identity is plagued by self-perpetuating
pathology of joblessness, welfare dependency and crime the
condition calls for furtherance – to change for the better, to improve the
present time.
Vibrant energy cores transparent love. Both the church and
Aboriginal communities have to deal with current issues, instigating a solution to the
problem as an onward and not a backward movement.
