Keeping up with Santa

Simply Wonderful Toys has - you guessed it - a comprehensive selection of toys for the young ones eagerly waiting Christmas Eve.

In the party isle stands a girl, barely 4. She whines her desperation of having to make a choice between a tea set and a princess dress. The mother brings a smile on the other browsers’ faces when she says: “Welcome to real life, darling.”

Somehow I got stuck with the T-bird convertible in which Thelma and Louise flown off the cliff. On the rack are Monster Trucks, Lighting McQueen, Thomas and Disney Toys.  Boys must have an inborn knowledge of what they want or in the case of Justin turning 3 what he apparently needs.     I snatch the last John Deere tractor with big wheels, hook and trailer and tick that off my list. Done.

Not necessarily inept, the second child gets to play with the firstborn’s toys and she might by default ends up pursuing a career in the vehicle industry if Santa doesn’t provide relief.

  

To pick a doll for Emily’s first Christmas is more of a challenge than I would like to admit. Boxed in the Orphan Isle are dolls waiting upon adoption. They can swim, eat, and cry, talk and they need motherly girls to take them home.

The one as cute as the other, but since Emily is fairy-like tiny the doll in the bathing suit matches her profile.

Dolls with names can swim, eat, and cry, talk and they need motherly girls to take them home.

This time of the year is also a time known for stories. The Gingerbread Man, Elf on the Shelf, Rudolph the red nose Reindeer --

When the toys are unwrapped and the hourglass of 2014 runs empty the Barefoot Book of Mother & Daughter Tales by Josephine Evetts-Secker and illustrated by Helen Cann a timeless treasure.

Happy Holidays to All

White Carnations for Mother's Day Century Celebration

May 10, 1914 US President Woodrow Wilson officially set aside the second Sunday of every May to celebrate Mother’s day in North America. The day was founded for mothers grieving the loss of fallen soldiers, to promote worldwide peace, to advocate for lowering childbirth mortality and to improve sanitary conditions of women in the workplace.

The founder of Mother’s day never had children of her own. A church in West Virginia now renamed International Mother’s Day Shrine brings honor to Anna Jarvis's championing work. (http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/05/140508-mothers-day-nation-gifts-facts-culture-moms/)

Anna objected the path Mother’s day celebrations took after 1914. The day was according to her not meant to be a commercial gold mine. She gave up everything to protect Mother’s day as a day to rethink the hardships of women, but instead got arrested for allegedly disturbing the peace and in 1948 she died penniless in Philadelphia’s Marshall Square Sanitarium.

Winning and loosing, two sides of the same coin. We’re living in a world that rapidly changes, with some things replicated. In a recent case 200 schoolgirls from Nigeria have been kidnapped. Soldiers are deployed. Millions of people die of HIV/Aids, malaria and cancer to name a few.

But the winning side is that when in need of a mother they can be found everywhere. They are in front of the stove, behind the desk, they volunteer and humor, nurse and care. Mothers know where to find lost items, how to stretch a meal, listen to everyday realizations and share secrets on mending a broken heart.

To the late Anna Jarvis and her mother initiating this day that has been celebrated a hundred times! Thank you. Women around the world will wear the white carnation to cry out their losses, but they’ll also celebrate their gains. 

Mothers gladly accept the gifts loaded with admiration and praise, knowing the bliss to be a woman, whatever it takes.  

Home Aura

Inside the children's room, the tranquilizing sound of the ocean, the sun radiates warmth. In the crib baby Emily on a bed decked with jasmine, roses and lavender. Gentle with innate grace her ways to reveal needs and when she smiles a deep dimple dents her cheek.

Justin measures and fits every piece into place. He thinks, analyses with the ability to set things straight.  You’re an angel, a saint. Oh no says Justin and points his finger to the sky.  Angel is in sky. His ability to speak full sentences lets no doubt about the intent of his words.

In the near future Justin will figure out what he already knows. Daddy holds the faraway healing of ocean in his heart, Mommy’s love rays light over their heads and gentle-sweet Emily jasmine dreams in her crib.

Angels can be wingless, play with dragons and enjoy story time on your lap.

Tea from Jodhpur

One could visit India for one reason - their teas.

Although the land harbors English tea plantations they’re known for indigenous herbal infusion or decoction to brew flavorful teas.

A winner is the Herbal Kashmeeri Kahwa from Jodhpur.  Two cinnamon sticks, two cardamom seeds, a little saffron, almond and Kahwa brewed for 5 minutes in two cups of water and you’re ready to enjoy a Kashmeeri Kahwa with a friend.  You’re in good company. Captain James Cook apparently participated in Kava Ceremonies during his South Sea travels.

Not only has this tea a delicate eastern taste to it, but also believed to bring solace to physical and emotional well being. The kava lactones, the active ingredient in Kahwa, gained recognition in the field of Medicine as an effective sedative. In the late sixties Germany amongst other countries banned the use of Kava because of possible liver irritations and interferences recorded with patients on chemical anti-depressants.

Kahwa says the Indian merchant around the corner reinforces the memory, eliminates panic attacks and reduces joint pains.  Not that one needs mental clarity per say, but if that gives one courage to get onto a tuc tuc why not?

Unforgettable the vibrant swatches of color, Indian bazaars, cows in the roads, rich tradition and temples, local celebrations, spice smelling and sitar music.

Best to leave the Kashmeeri Kahwa that enforces the memory behind.

The death of Snowman

Snowman

This winter is relentless there’s no other word to describe that. Record low temperatures compare to 1950’s and some provinces under blizzard warnings with tons of snow predicted.

 Justin pretends to get ready for playtime in the backyard. He puts on his hat, boots and jacket and says outside.  The toddler knows when fantasy changes into parental reality. 

Spells of snow change into seasonal rain and the wind slams the wet against the glass door leading to the patio.   The takes off the outdoor gear, puts the boots and hat on the rack and returns to his toy car friends. Mommy is busy with Emily and a two-week-old baby can’t weather the cold.

The rays of sunshine stir him to spring activity. Oh hi sun! Elated Justin puts on the hat, jacket and boots runs to the glass door. Outside. The ice is a slippery patches of grass muddy. Snowman turned into a block of melting debris the carrot nose withered and the prune eyes eroded downwards. He pulls out the nose and eyes put that into a pail. Above him ducks in flight bring a quack cure. Soon they will take the yellow breed for a swim on the nearby pond. He sinks onto his knees rakes the crystals with a spade. A smile breaks on his face. Happy, happy.

Pancake call. Wet and cold Justin holds onto the rails climbs back the slippery stairs  towards the glass patio door.

Before he enters he turns around and waves.

Bye-bye Snowman.

He takes off the winter boots, hat and jacket puts them back on the rack.

Justin home - happy.

He knows how to word his joy.

The next time around the grass might have a greenish shade.

Big Brother

After the nine months incubation period the day has come. Monday and by eleven Dr. Jadi and his team were ready to help the Angel of Roses into the world.

Soon after the estimated time, brother Justin got his new sister. Not that he would grasp the extend of the implications of not being the only child anymore, because his second birthday was only in January.   With Mommy and sister in the hospital, Daddy Mike came home and Justin’s mind was set at ease. He adores Daddy and boys-time means tons of fun.

Baby Emily

On the second day Justin got a first look on the sibling he’s going to love and protect. With dark-haired tiny, Emily in Mommy’s arms the first bit of newness kicked in and when she cried, Justin was unsettled. “Emily sad,”  before he turned around and ran towards the exit. Justin was sad too.

The next day’s visit was expected to be more emotional than the first. Mommy was still in bed with Emily in her arms and Justin couldn’t cuddle as he would have liked to. Daddy said when Emily cries she’s not sad but hungry and that’s her way to let them know she needs a feeding.  Justin is a compassionate soul and when Emily started to tell the world she’s hungry, he was heart-broken.  

Big Brother

Amid a snowstorm, Mommy and Emily were good to go home.  Justin sat at the table, watching a movie on his iPad when the family got reunited. Emily sound asleep in her basket. Justin got from his chair and gauged his options. With the blowing snow against the windows Justin ran the stairs to get away from this strange happening, but suddenly realized he left the iPad with Emily. He had to turn around and moments later Justin was back in his chair, watching the familiar cartoon characters on screen. They’re his best friends and only to be shared when watched together. He didn’t eat much that day.

Then Nana came to visit. Nana and Justin are best friends when it comes to play and exploring. Then Nana took baby Emily in her arms. That was something for Justin to get used to and even though Nana invited him to sit next to her, he said “Justin sad”.  

Justin peeped at his sister and then went to his table with toys. He knew exactly what he needed to do. Two years old and able to express his emotions, he threw off the toys, saved his favourite pirate ship for last. Mommy let nature run its coarse and spoke kind words. Justin took his nurture cloth and turned his back on the scene and laid down between his toys. Daddy used the opportunity to wipe off the table and helped Justin to put them back. The ice of oddity was cracked and the road to adaptation paved.

Sibling Love

Emily was responding well to the milk, so satisfied and easy to feed and to sleep. She enjoyed being hold tightly and when Mommy asked Justin to bring her a blanket because Emily was cold, Justin took ownership of his newly gained status. Proud to participate he gave the blanket to Mommy and took his chair at the table where Daddy was.  Justin turned on the iPad and -

That dinner was the best he had in a long time. 

A big brother eat all his food and enjoy the show.


Photographs courtesy of Focused Photography

Let's Play

BUILDING BLOCKS

YouTube Video

The Toy Store around the corner is stacked with super heroes, cars and tools, princess and thumb sucking dolls, small kitchens and appliances, puzzles, soft toys, pianos and music instruments, beads, mobiles, angles wings and combat swords, pre-historic and farm animals, gardening tools, books and crayons – the Big World brought in reach of small hands.

On the back descriptions of 100% recycled and/or environment tested materials used. The value of the toys praised for durability, promoting physical and intellectual skills that can be obtained within a certain age range. 

Play dates became popular between staying-at-home-parents, making use of the many indoor facilities for pre-scholars. To some extend these Play Centres resemble the Toy Store around the corner and might offer in addition squares filled with balls, slides and climbing apparatus for energetic toddlers.

Daycare facilities carry the feel of Toy Stores and Play Centers, with tables and chairs and mattresses added.     

The young child is easily entertained when offered the opportunity to explore, interact and share, the parent or caregiver a reassuring beacon to observe, encourage and assist when called for.

During the child’s interaction with toys the parent/caregiver can find an ample of opportunities to build the child’s self-esteem without hindering the child’s play. When the child exhibits resistance or fear to try out unknown apparatus, the parent can invite the child to try it out together, keeping in mind that the parent enters the child’s world and not the other way around. The parent wants the child to have fun, to experience a happy-place and to build a lasting childhood memory. Comparing the child to other’s achievements and abilities can draw in a negative or a competitive feel that deflates the child’s energy.

Allow the child to bring you into his/her world of fun. Bring in laughter and respect and a non-judgmental attitude. 

Value this gesture as an invitation to secure a building block of trust.  

AN ADULT CHILD and not so mature parent.

Grown-ups and Parents

This article was posted on a social media site, the writer’s name not mentioned. Some readers might take this as a joke, but what if the writer was deadly serious about his/her parental status?

·      Parent or friend?

A parent is one who begets, gives birth, a caregiver who nurtures and raises a child.   When the baby starts to develop his/her relationship to the world, the self-concept merges. Around 6-12 months the baby recognizes his/her image in the mirror and will call out his/her name when he/she starts talking. The I-boundary is open-ended and the infant allows the parent/caregiver to enter and leave. The concept is best explained during bottle- or breastfeeding (the closeness) and early childhood games like peek-a-boo (separation) that strengthen the concept of I-we boundaries. When an infant is abandoned for an extended period of time detachment and disconnection can manifest. Under favorable circumstances the parent/caregiver introduces the infant to an environment filled with newness, challenges and skills to be mastered. The parent interacts with the infant as the playmate, nurturer and educator.  

Two-years, toddlers and temper tantrums seem to be synonym, not to mention displays of separation anxiety.  The parent/ caregiver goes to great lengths to introduce the toddler to friends, trustworthy adults and babysitters and assists the child to develop social skills midst perceived resistance. Many toddlers will initially go through an intense period of crying when dropped off at the daycare, but eventually the child will learn to trust and play along.

While the friendly parent/caregiver introduces the infant to the outer world the I- and we- and us- boundaries are established as respected units.

  

·      Child’s education?

In the published letter the parent uses disconcerting verbs:

I will stalk you – in most countries stalking is considered a criminal offence.

A stalk can also be considered a stem that supports a part of the plant like the flower, fruit or leaf. The purpose of the stalk in a plant is to uphold and strengthen the beauty.

Flip out on you – the giver reacts irrationally, becomes angry and/or looses control. In a positive way flip out can be to react in a surprised, excited or delighted when the unexpected happens.

Lecture you – Most lecturers struggle with the mechanics to ensure that the body is retained, the audience stays awake, and the message is simple and relevant. Lectures are an effective method to hand down knowledge, ideas and concepts. However, interactive lectures tend to be more effective, spark creativity, ensure interest and allow two-direction communication.  A lecture can be an inspiring talk from a person who aspires to facilitate change for the betterment of mankind.  

Drive you insane: To be able to drive somebody to the point of insanity, both action and caution are required. The targeted can easily jump out of the way and leave the driver plunging into the dungeon.

The question of insanity depends on who the observer is.     

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops. (Cary Grant).

One is very crazy when in love. (Sigmund Freud)  

We are obliged to regard many of our original minds as crazy at least until we have become as clever as they are. (G.C. Lichtenburg)

Be your worse nightmare:

Nightmares are not bound to only happen at night, one can live a nightmare in the true sense of the word when feeling overwhelmed by circumstances or threatened and thus paralyzed with fear.  While asleep images collected during daytime are unguarded by the conscious mind and make an appeal on the receiver to deal with that – one can’t escape from a nightmare.  Every nightmare, no matter how unsettling, contains vital information on suppressed fears and emotional challenges.

·      Bloodhound?

Bloodhounds are believed to be kind, lovable, noble and good-natured companions for children. They can become very territorial, protective over their domain and might not welcome intruders. Bloodhounds are used worldwide in rescue and criminal tracking, their evidence apparently admissible in the court of law.   

·      Definition of love

Love is the most difficult concept to put into words. Throughout the centuries poets, songwriters, academics, psychologists, philosophers, clergy and laymen to name a few tried to capture this acclaimed, ultimate multi-dimensional state. A deep, intense affection can happen anytime. It happens between parents and their newborn, between lovers, explorers and their dwellings, scientists and experiments, diners and food, mediators and visualizations, kneels and prayers – the eureka-moment of being enlightened.

Once experienced, the loss thereof is as intense, in the words of Anais Nin: Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.    

·      Definition of responsible adult

A person is amongst most cultures regarded an adult when he/she reaches sexual maturity. Where legal systems are in place a legal adult is a person who has attained the age of majority and can take responsibility for own actions.

Some psychologists argue that age has nothing to do with maturity and that a minor can have more quality alike than an eighty-year old. Saying that, some psychologists uphold the theory that seniors often show signs of regression and become childlike when reaching a certain age.  In the article the writer seems to be ignorant about children’s natural ability to mature and take responsibility for their own acts.  The act might not always be the best choice, but the consequences will teach the young adult the (favourable) outcomes and lessons learned.

·      The only person in universe

The writer of the above article sees him/her as the most important and irreplaceable provider of love. He/she assures the child that nobody else can pray, care and worry more.

Narcissism is the attribute of the human psyche characterized by self-preoccupation, fixation on an early stage and admiration of oneself.

Conceit an unduly high opinion of one’s own abilities and worth.

Worries accumulate and prayers are supposed to assist the bearer of letting go.

·      Accomplished Hate

Hate seems more difficult to earn, but easier to retain than love.  

 Hate stems from hurt, leads to disappointment and this ultimate condition provides the dealer with a motive to pursue. Hate always propels into action. Hate tends to backfire.

A thought provoking letter indeed.

Summary:

The absent figure, the receiver, gets the sympathy vote. 

Between the lines there is a strong outcry from a maturing child to be acknowledged as someone who has the freedom to experience life by trail-and-error, one who choose to be expelled from parental worries and smother.

Way back, when he/she was a newborn held in the arms of a loving parent, this maturing adult could call his/ her parent a trusted friend.