Marriage counselling - Elucidated burnt-out.

May, in her late forties and Burt, in his early fifties sit opposite the seasoned counselor, Susan.

Burt has the floor and May looks at the patterns on the Persian carpet.

Burt:            "May stopped talking to me about two weeks ago."

Susan:          "How long have you been married?"

Burt:             "The better of thirty years. We’ve been together for longer than we’ve been separate."

Susan:           "May, if you want to say something, feel free to do so."

May isn’t rebellious or resistant, neither numb nor cold.

Burt:         "Why don’t you tell Susan what’s the matter? That is why we made this appointment after all."

Susan:             "Can you say ‘I’?"

Burt:               "What do you mean? Of course I can say I."

Susan:            "I made the appointment, because I want May to tell me why she stopped talking to me?"

Burt:              "I made the appointment. Com’ May, you can tell us – or do you want me to leave so that you can speak freely to Susan? She can tell me afterwards what bothers you so deeply."

Susan:         "I can only agree to the first part. In my counselling I aim to propitiate communication between the parties involved."

May looks at the patterns that seem to be really interesting from her point of view.

Burt:           "If I’m the problem, I want to know. I can try to change."

Susan:      "I shall ask the question to both. Do you pay attention when your partner voices a concern or opens up a conversation?"

Burt:         "May gets upset easily, sometimes it is hard to tell what is facts and what is - hum..."

May looks at Susan, then back to the patterns on the carpet.

Susan:       "Can any of you give me an example of a resent conversation between the two of you?"

Burt thinks really hard. He tries to recall any incident.

Burt:     "I can’t recall when last we made proper love to each other. I’m good to May. I do the grocery shopping, because the store is on my way home and I always buy us some chips, chocolates and cookies on sale."

Susan:  "I’m going to ask the question to the both of you. Is one more health-conscious than the other? Is it possible for one of you to prefer say, fresh peas and hummus to chocolates and chips?"

May takes a sip of water.

Susan closes the file.

Burt:       "I love my fruits. I eat a banana, an apple and a bunch of grapes every single day."

Susan: "Do you want to book another appointment for next week?"

May takes her purse.

Burt: "Only if you think the next time around May might talk to us."

After they leave, Susan writes in the file: Signs of being elucidated burnt-out.

Prognosis: Gloomy.